I Want to Connect book cover

I Want to Connect

Rewire Your Nervous System for Stress Resilience and Secure Attachment

Written as a follow-up to the popular The Attachment Theory Workbook, I Want to Connect more thoroughly addresses the question author Annie Chen gets the most: “How do I become more securely attached?”

The “secret” lies in paying attention to your autonomic nervous system, where you’ll develop a deep but practical understanding of your body’s stress and what this can tell you about your capacity for connection.

I Want to Connect won’t just teach you how to improve one kind of relationship. Instead, the lessons and exercises in this book will apply to every kind of relationship in your life.

amazon logo
Bookshop logo
Barnes and Noble logo
Tertulia logo
I Want to Connect book on table

Why You Need this Book

I Want to Connect teaches you to think like your nervous system—that is, understand how your body and brain intuitively organize stressful experiences and relationships. This workbook contains 37 exercises and prompts to strengthen your attachment foundation so that you can:

  • Work toward secure attachment in all your relationships.

  • Increase your stress resilience overall.

  • Help people around you feel safe and heard.

  • Understand your own boundaries, emotions, and needs.

  • Communicate and relate with more ease.

  • Gain empathy and compassion for your growth journey.

I Want to Connect makes a great resource whether you are new to learning about relationships and attachment or have a lot of experience and want to further deepen your skills.

Praise for the Book

  • “In an era where digital connections often replace genuine human interaction, I Want to Connect emerges as a critical guide for fostering real, meaningful relationships. Annie Chen excels at making the complex science of autonomic states accessible, offering practical steps for anyone looking to build a culture of empathy and understanding in all facets of life.”

    Charlene Li, New York Times bestselling author, speaker, advisor, and coach

  • “I Want to Connect has a science-backed approach to deeper bonds. It cuts through the noise and provides clear steps for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and navigate stress with grace. These insights are going to help the world have more empathetic human connections.”

    Matt Larson, Founder, Human Improvement Project

  • “Annie Chen artfully breaks down the fundamentals of your nervous system, how stress and trauma lead to emotional dysregulation, and how to heal your insecure attachment. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is looking for authentic and fruitful connections with important people in their lives.”

    Dr. Judy Ho, Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, Tenured Professor, and Author of The New Rules of Attachment and Stop Self-Sabotage

  • “Annie Chen’s I Want to Connect brilliantly translates the science of the Polyvagal Theory into practical, life-changing exercises. By diving deep into the concept of autonomic states, she makes it easier to understand and improve human connection. This workbook makes a fantastic resource for therapists and their clients by making the principles of physiological safety and social engagement accessible to all.”

    Stephen W. Porges, PhD, Distinguished University Scientist, Founding Director, Traumatic Stress Research Consortium, Indiana University Bloomington

  • “Annie is masterful at demystifying what happens “under the hood” of relationship. Annie lovingly and expertly shows us how our internal states affect our external relationships and how, as adults, we can fill in the gaps and missing pieces left by childhood neglect and trauma. Free of jargon, this workbook is as artful as it is scientific. With every word imbued with care and clarity, she gives us a heart-opening gift.”

    Dr. Aline LaPierre, Founder/Director, The NeuroAffective Touch Institute

  • “Annie Chen’s latest book is a must read for anyone committed to reducing strife in their life and bettering their relationships. Her in-depth knowledge of Attachment Theory and Polyvagal Theory shines through in her unique ability to translate these academic notions into actionable life-changing recommendations. This is one book I’ll be referencing for many years to come.”

    Lara Land, Coach and Author of The Essential Guide to Trauma Sensitive Yoga

About the Author

Annie Chen embarked on a 17-year study of the mind, nervous system, and psychology, highlighted by two master's degrees and 15 years of psychotherapy practice, to bring forward the insights in her books. Her latest work, I Want to Connect, represents the culmination of her years of research and practice, offering a science-backed approach to fostering secure attachment and stress resilience.